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21st Century Barbie

Posted by amber | My Diary | Posted on June 14th, 2011

In case you are unaware Barbie and Ken are having a bit of a tiff of late because she wont ‘go green’. The makers of Barbie, Mattel, will not make there packaging green and Ken is rather upset about that. Which kind of got my mind wandering … how is Barbie¬† handling aging?

I believe there is a place in the Barbie range for a new addition = BODY DYSMORPHIC BARBIE. This means the person is excessively concerned about and preoccupied by a perceived defect in his or her physical features. Boy would I have fun making this line. Firstly she would come with a botox kit, including test tubes of the botox and syringe to inject herself with. She would wrinkle up and then when injecting her face with the botox would miraculously puff back out. Body dysmorphic Barbie would also come with a set of calf and butt implants, which you can insert into her plastic body to create the desired changes. And Barbie would not be Barbie without boob implants. She would also be supplied with saline sachets to buff up her bosom.And just to round off her unstable body image I would include hair extensions, false nails and attache able extra long lashes! One could also include dye to get rid of the grey. Oooh and what about stick on acne – for her face and back! They could even create a device which expands Barbie’s body so she looks like she is fat and then she can try all the mad diets to get thinner.

The next new addition to the 21st Century Barbie range should be Batty Barbie. She would suffer from a range of mental illnesses, like Munchhausen syndrome; arachnophobia, she could even be bi-polar. When she suffers from Munchausen’s she would make her kids drink detergent or burn them on purpose so she could take them to hospital. Batty Barbie could also come with a whole lot of small Barbie size spiders to feed her phobia or a couple of phobias. When Barbie is bi-polar she could go out and shop like mad; book a vacation to the Seychelles or just buy Ken loads of gifts. And when she is in the down phase she could stop brushing her hair; do drugs and feel suicidal!

I briefly contemplated a CFS Barbie but really she wouldnt be a big seller. I dont think sleeping all day; no energy; slightly depressed Barbie would get alot of sales!

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