Brick by Brick
Posted by amber | My Diary | Posted on October 6th, 2010
Well lets start at the beginning. First you are a house – 4 walls, a roof, garage, rooms, toilets, etc. You have your quirks – you sometimes leak in winter; you get awfully hot in summer; your garage is to small and so on. Likewise I was a human being, a little older; maybe not that wise; creaky in cold weather and prone to turning red in hot weather. But all in all a good specimen, much like my house.
Then one day someone somewhere gets dissatisfied. As to my house, we needed a garden and it was positioned incorrectly. So we take the house down – see pic on the left. And me as a human? Well lord alone knows why I was chosen for destruction but it happened and CF took over and changed my ‘house’.
So you are devastated, brought down to your very basics, flesh and bone, soil and rock. And there we stay for a while till we settle into this new stage. Then the building begins. Architect, land surveyor, builders… Foundations first, the bricks, walls, a roof, plastering, and finishes. …and eventually one moves in.
And me. Devastated, still feel shaky with this thing CF. I think my foundations are in = taking loads of vitamins, minerals and supplements; seeing someone about my head; seeing loads of doctors, physicians, specialist about my body/building. And now the walls have to be built. I think sometimes they are there because I feel strong but then sometimes, there is a ‘strong wind’ and ‘a flood’ and all of it falls down again. And I have to start all over – try a new doctor; rest more; eat better. This building/healing process is not easy. It takes patience, strength, humour, support and optimism. Maybe my new house/me will be better than the plans; better than the sum of all my supplements; better than I imagine …
I cant wait till my house is rebuilt, both literally and figuratively. And I can wait to move back into me again.