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Kick me when I am down

Posted by amber | My Diary | Posted on October 12th, 2011

You know with CFS you kind of think you have been punished enough for this lifetime or at least you are able to ‘expect the unexpected’ and ‘take it on the chin’ but clearly I am a slow learner.

Today my baby girl, Black died. She was my constant companion over the last 3 and a half years. She spent every afternoon, without fail, curled up next to me on the couch. Once comfortable and having been stroked to induce vibrating purrs , she would almost throw herself on her back, tummy in the air, awaiting a belly rub. And don’t think a couple of minutes would do. Generally i would fall asleep whilst attending to her. When my eyes were too sensitive too light she would happily tunnel under the blankets with me and fall asleep alongside me.

And she gave the dogs hell. God forbid they got too close she would lash out with a talon and a hiss and they learnt to make a wide circle around her. Her favourite spots to nap when I was out, were behind the blinds in our bedroom or under a bush in the garden. She loved biltong and licking the yoghurt from my breakfast bowl.

Here she is with Lopez, a new buddy. The two of them would sprint up and down the passage at home, on and off the bed and eventually someone would come off second best. Usually Lopez, even though she was twice the size of Black. Lopez is missing her buddy too.

Black’s other favourite pasttime was licking the shower after you had been in it. I will miss that even though I would sometimes get irritated because she would sit outside the door of the shower crying till you opened it for her.

And lastly who will wake me at 6 in the morning with a continuous meows. Sometimes as many as twenty in a row.  And when that didn’t work a light tap to my nose, followed by an even more energetic one -using the claws – usually did the trick. And then contented she would knead and purr the duvet and then throw herself on her back for the customary tummy tickle.

Life is not fair?

And how much is one meant to endure?

And can there be a god that lets this happen?

And as for this below – “I f..cking hope so.”

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