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The Doldrums

Posted by amber | My Diary | Posted on August 18th, 2010

I am in that space which I have for the past couple of days referred to as “The Doldrums”. I am sort of neither great nor crap; neither comfortable or totally at odds; not starving or satiated!@#$#$%#$

I am not sure if all CF sufferers get this but its when you are feeling better enough to get up with a bit of a bounce but not really good enough to actually continue with your life. I also start wondering if I will improve or get worse again … What can I say, always the optimist!!

I love this pic and saying next door because its exactly that for me.

I do all the calming,


deep breathing,

non stressful,

correct drug taking stuff and I still am not sure what actually works. But I still keep at it. The human condition is weird!!

The other weird thing about CF is how friends and family react to it. I have probably mentioned before that I don’t look ill and when I am home 90% of the time I am lying down and feeling mediocre to say the least. This they don’t see, so I imagine they go home and think I am an absolute nutter who is depressed and therefore feeling this way. I don’t believe they honestly physically believe I am ill with an actual diagnosed thing. Even weirder is that there is no cure???? I mean quite honestly if I didn’t suffer from this I would probably also say “She needs to see a good psychologist and take an anti depressant!” Friends and family also have short term memory loss with regard to CF. It seems that anything that you sufferer from that lasts longer than a month is not fathomable. So one  month down the line they will say, “So ‘you’re better.” Statement.

The other day I was sitting with some friends of mine and the one asked me how I was. I explained the WHOLE story AGAIN. And at the end he said, ” So you’re back at work then.”

Which begs the question “DOES ANYONE EVER TRULY LISTEN!!!!!!!”

On that note a newpice from Pravs World:

Everything Passes By

Everything in life is temporary. Darkness of the night; or a bright day. Even sunrise is temporary; so is sunset.

So if things are going good, enjoy it because it won’t last forever. And if things are going bad, don’t worry. Because it won’t last forever either.

Everything passes by.

9 Responses to “The Doldrums”

  1. AS says:

    I have read your blog over a short period of time and each time think to myself – wow, what a strange place to find oneself in.And your most recent blog testifies to that. In fact it hit perfectly on the spot since I had wondered how your support group of family, friends were in fact handling this as time went by.
    You never mention work or children so presumably these are not happening which as of right now may be a good thing but it also makes me reflect on whether any circumstances around these issues have an impact too.
    I got to tell you that you write really well, you are honest and self effacing and admire your transparency and openness – congrats. Maybe you should use this talent and your current low energy to write a book – no idea about a topic but sure one could find something based on your hobbies, interests (If I recall you paint – which sounds like another good avenue), place you live or whatever. Just a thought.
    I can’t even pretend to understand CF or relate to your predicament because I don’t but I relate to your honesty and willingness to confront it openly. I too would probably run out of patience with you and tell you to get on with it……when you can’t.
    I’ll be reading and have no doubt the day will return – you’ll wake up and warp speed will be back.
    May the force be with you.

  2. I can see you happen to be an expert at your field! I am launching a web site soon, and your information is going to be really fascinating for me.. Thanks for all your aid and wishing you all of the success.

  3. flipemall says:

    thanks, i enjoyed the read

  4. I think youve made some truly interesting points. Not too many people would actually think about this the way you just did. Im really impressed that theres so much about this subject thats been uncovered and you did it so well, with so much class. Good one you, man! Really great stuff here.

  5. I appreciate the beneficial facts you offer in your posts. I will bookmark your website and have my children check up here often. I am quite sure they will learn lots of new stuff here than anybody else!

  6. maria andros says:

    Really nice post,thank you

  7. maintain at it man, your almost there , thanks for the read!

  8. vigrx plus says:

    thank you for this.. by the way, your layout is really nice.

  9. Very good written story. It will be helpful to everyone who usess it, including yours truly Smile. Keep doing what you are doing – i will definitely read more posts.

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